Pretty Girls

I can’t help but feel that it must be difficult to be a pretty girl (PG). To be sure, I think there are plenty of benefits that come with being a PG. Yet, the more I’ve thought about this, the more I’ve come to believe that the cons outweigh the pros. To be fair, the conundrum that PGs face, which I’ll outline in the ensuing paragraphs, are not unique to them – the rich and the famous suffer similar difficulties. Nevertheless, I’ve decided to narrow the scope of this post to PGs because I’m surrounded by a lot more of them than I am by the rich/famous (note: this was not meant to be some tongue-in-cheek compliment to myself).

Let’s discuss the pros. First, the most obvious benefit that comes with being a PG is that you are constantly center stage and one of the main attractions, if not THE attraction, of any given room. Second, once you have people’s attention, it won’t be long before waves of guys try to gun you down with flattery and compliments about this or that. Finally, if guys have made it this far, they’ll usually thank you for your time by offering to buy you a drink, a meal, or in certain cases, cars and houses.

With that said, let’s move onto the cons – after all, my point was that it seems like it’s DIFFICULT (not easy) to be a pretty girl. Indeed, it wasn’t long before the list of cons grew longer than the list of pros. First, just as it is a benefit, I think attention is also a downside of being a PG. As PGs drown under constant attention and flattery, they simultaneously gain both an inflated sense of self as well as a cheapened sense of self. With the former, you’re used to attention and flattery. You’ve taken for granted glances from guys like you’ve taken for granted oxygen. At the same time, having become used to all the attention and flattery, it becomes harder and harder to anchor your sense of worth in anything beyond your looks. As a result, your sense of self only goes skin deep and you start believing you’re nothing more than your looks. Moreover, you might start questioning who’s really there for you, and whether they’re only there because of the attention and status your looks can garner for them. Surrounded by approving eyes and appeasing words, you don’t know who to trust.

At the same time, the plight of PGs also seems to harm those around them. Constrained by a hunger for affirmation, not knowing who’s really there for you, etc., all these things probably twist the way you socialize and relate with people. For example, this is probably a major reason why you’ve either dated an entire carousel of guys and/or the dating relationships you’ve had were turbulent. You want attention and he sells it in bulk like he’s CostCo, thus forming a flimsy and turbulent arrangement. What’s more is that the way PGs relate to regular, straightforward guys (yes, they exist) also becomes profoundly screwed up. Forced to be guarded and only used to a certain brand of interactions with guys, there is no “just a lunch” or “just a hangout” with PGs. Not used to straightforward, non-shadiness, PGs will react by “playing hard-to-get”, even if a normal Joe Schmo really wants nothing more than a simple meal or coffee to get to know the person behind the looks. There will be artificial significance placed where there shouldn’t be any and, as a result, the PG’s isolation only intensifies as she continues to “accept” only a certain brand of guys. I’m sure the fact that she may feel (or impose) a certain sense of competition with every girl she meets doesn’t help things one bit. Worst of all, I’m not even sure if this pattern of behavior is intentional. In fact, if this way of socializing and relating is all she knows, how can you blame her?

I’m neither pretty nor a girl (though some people have said otherwise). These are just my guesses about how tough it seems to be a pretty girl, and I’ll be the first to admit I could be wrong about everything – I’ve been wrong plenty of times before. I should clarify by noting that I’m not trying to generalize or stereotype here. Though the proverbial line/ice is thin, these are just my personal observations and thoughts on a world I’ll never fully understand. This is not a facetious post, but if you want to take it that way, be my guest.

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