More than 60 churches that faced possible eviction Sunday from New York City public schools should have more room to breathe. The churches will be allowed to continue to meet in public schools, thanks to a permanent injunction issued today from a district court judge.
I think it’s common sense and an obvious observation that when limited to mere hints and presuppositions, skepticism and awkwardness pervades many relationships between men and women. Tara Klena Barthel and Judy Dabler, authors of Peacemaking Women, would call this divide the “expectation-experience gap.” Based on Barthel and Dabler’s book, here is Carolyn McCulley on what happens when men don’t pursue straightforwardly and women don’t respond honestly:
Indirect communication widens the “expectation-experience gap” and fuels the genuine frustration that single adults often endure. Consider the poor man who has been told that Christian women won’t show any interest or encouragement. So he keeps asking out various women and getting turned down — by women who are hoping he’ll “get the hint” and stop asking. How unnecessarily frustrating this is for both sides.
In saying this, I’m only addressing a pattern of ongoing indirect communication. I’m not talking about banishing the artful hint that has jump-started many a romance. I’m all for men initiating relationships — bring it on! And I’m all for women giving them a bit of encouragement to do so.
That’s the fun side of a hint. But that shouldn’t be our continuous mode of communication. There comes a time when we women need to consider the “speech commands” issued by Scripture and evaluate the way we communicate against the Bible’s standards.
Why is it that we are afraid to speak directly to someone? Why do we rely on hints and avoidance techniques? I would argue that this is a manifestation of what the Bible calls “fear of man.” We are worried about what others think of us — either we crave their approval or we fear their rejection. There’s also laziness involved. It’s much easier to duck someone with an expectation of us than it is to gently and graciously talk to them about it. But does this build up our brothers and sisters for their benefit (Ephesians 4:29)? Does this follow after the Proverbs 31 model to speak with wisdom and kindness? And will we have to give a good or poor account of our careless words (Matthew 12:34-37)?
Andrew Wilson recapping the story of Jason Stellman, a former Presbyterian Pastor who recently “went over to Rome because he no longer believed in sola scripture or sola fide”. Wilson takes a look at Stellman’s words detailing his move as well as the words of others within the debate.
It has its crude/raunchy moments, but generally, this is a pretty accurate and humorous take on the dating world. If not the dating world, this video pretty much sums up 99% of rom-coms.