I’ve got 99 problems, but pride ain’t one…

Actually it is.

Although it chronically nagged away at me from the peripheral, I kept refusing to acknowledge it (which was clearly a warning sign that pride was DEFINITELY an issue). However, as I’ve been coming to grips with this issue, I’ve been learning not just the danger of sin in general, but particularly, the danger of sins we’re unaware of. It’s kind of chilling, really, knowing that I was so flagrant in my pride, and yet, because I was head deep in that mess, that I wasn’t even aware of it.

Fast forward to today, and here’s the issue I’ve been pondering about: swallowing your pride. The hardest part of wrestling with pride, is biting your tongue and restraining the urge to get the last word in. You feel like someone is making certain assumptions, and you want to “correct”, “supplement” and “qualify” what they’re saying. But it’s a catch-22: say something and your defensiveness (pride) bleeds through, say nothing, and the other person “wins” and/or continues to think of you however you think they think of you (pride).

Becoming aware of my pride hasn’t made things any easier. It’s been a constant struggle from the get go. Every fiber of my being is dying to justify my position, character, opinion, etc, but I realized whether I get the last word or not, “no one is righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10).

Here’s the thing though, and pardon my Japanese, but, it’s hard as hell. And I realize the harder it is for me to be at peace with Romans 3:10, and therefore, at peace with whatever other people may or may not say, that pride is still, all the more, an issue.


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